Thursday, May 27, 2010

If I Had a Fortune...




My eight year old daughter, whom I shall call "Peanut", is convinced that she won the Danimals yogurt sweepstakes and that I threw away the winning container. She swears that it was right there on the counter, but she forgot to tell me about our unbelievable good luck - so it made it's way into recycling. For a couple of weeks now she has been saying things like this:

"Well, we could have gone on a free vacation, but MOM threw away my winning container!"


Or


"If MOM hadn't thrown away my winning container, I could have been rich!"


She is extremely bitter about the whole thing and I'm sure I'll be hearing about it for the rest of my life. At first I was certain that she had imagined it all, but now I've almost got myself convinced that I did, indeed, throw away the winning yogurt container. I guess we'll never know. I asked her what she would have wanted anyway, if she had won a fortune. Her answer? Zhu Zhu Pets. Yes, my dear Peanut would have spent the sweepstakes money on toy hamsters.




My son, who we like to call "The Bean", got a little over $100 for his sixth birthday. He told me that he was going to use it to buy me a minivan. That money began to burn a hole in his pocket. He couldn't help himself and spent it on Lego Star Wars stuff before we ever got to the Toyota dealership.

I can't even begin to think about what I would do, if I suddenly had a pile of extra money. Here's what Ten Year Old Me would have done with the cash:


October, 1985

If I won two million dollars in a lottery, I would buy a mansion, furniture for it, a Porshe, turbo with a million miles on it, a Television watch, a big, very big getto blaster and other cars and things for my family. and two hundred dollars would go to an orphanige. I don't think money is everything, so I'll give some of it to my friends! I would buy a lot of horses and a tennis court, to go with my mansion! I would put the leftover money in the bank. I don't love money, but it I had two million dollars, that's what I would do! I would like to have two million dollars but it probably wouldn't buy as much as I want so, this is what I'd buy, six horses, a barn, and a big house! and I'd give some money away, put some in the bank, and buy a porshe, and a Lamborgini. I would save lots of it, though because of payments on the house,so, I would buy five horses, a porshe and and a big house. I would save and spend the rest of the money! Maybe not! Too tell you the truth, I don't know what I would buy!


Well, at least I had my priorities straight: Big Ghetto Blaster, before giving that $200 to the Orphanage...

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